So You're 50! by Mike Haskins & Clive Whichelow

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Others will now perceive you as a reactionary old git, unemployable, and a health insurance risk. Your opinion is not even sought by high street canvassers, and patronizing sales assistants in clothes shops will be your natural enemies. Your idea of a dirty weekend is cleaning out the garden shed. On the bright side, you can feel smug that you have better grammar than a university student and have outlived John Lennon by ten years.